I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
