so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
