Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
