Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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