Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
