I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
