i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
