Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
