I need help removing her.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
