i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
