my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
