so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
