So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize