He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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