fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
