Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
