is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
