it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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