I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
