# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
