i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
