dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
