dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
