the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
