I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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