Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
