sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
