No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
