i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
