You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
