she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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