he puts the penis in happiness.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Drake has all the answers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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