I heard we made out
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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