Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
