The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
