Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
