I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
