thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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