First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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