im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
