Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize