Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
