I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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