Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Screwed.edu
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
