At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
