I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
