After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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