I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the day after is always just damage control
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
