dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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