I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
